Chief Fox, a 5Star Life board member, wrote the following article inspired by his recent visit to the 5Star Life office in Lincoln, Nebraska. This article is published online in a local Long Island newspaper, which can be found here.
“Change, or Transition? Our Choice”
A couple of weeks ago I did a leadership seminar in Lincoln Nebraska, with a company I am honored to be part of, 5Star Life Insurance. 5StarLife offers affordable insurance, geared toward the needs of our US Soldiers, National Guard and first responders. Our motto is, “We serve those who serve our nation.” This particular team, whose contributions play an integral role in the company’s mission, is taking on significant changes in their operating systems.
In this session we thought it would be best to talk about a part of life that we are each sometimes challenge with, professionally and personally, managing change. We did a workshop, in which each member shared a challenging or unwanted change that they are going through. One member shared that she was struggling with the death of her dog, which was compounded by the unsettling thought that life is moving too fast.
Her sharing moved our group into a discussion of how change is not only inevitable, but constant. I shared how struck I was by a recent visit to the American Museum of Natural History. I walked through the spiral “Cosmic Pathway.” The exhibit is about the evolving of our universe, from the Big Bang theory, 13 billion years ago, to today. The walking exhibit chronicles the creation of our galaxy, our planet, as well as the first signs of life, up to the relatively very recent presence of our humanity. Of course the changes in our planet continue. The cliffs of Niagara Falls recede north every moment, because of the force of the water flowing over them. The mountains we drive by are constantly reshaping. As far as our civilization changing, just reading a history book or even looking back a decade and seeing all that has changed in our world can make our heads spin.
So yes, change is constant, and nothing in our existence is stagnant. However, that realization may not bring us much comfort when we are experiencing change in our lives, especially change that we are either unprepared for, or unwilling to go through. Two concepts that are used interchangeably are change and transition. There is actually a significant difference between each.
Change is something that happens to us, usually not our choice. A parent passing away, being laid off from a job, or a change in the leadership team of the company we work in are things we do not choose. But we have to go through them. Transition is when we accept or come to terms with a change, and adjust our lives accordingly. When a parent dies we go through the stages of grieving, one of them being acceptance, and we redefine our lives. To some extent, our relationships with our surviving family members are realigned. Being laid off is a change no one would choose, but we get ourselves through that pain with the help of others, and possibly professional help. Getting a résumé together and finding another job is the transition that follows the layoff.
There are steps to better manage change, and make that change a transition. Acceptance is first – the most important. Coming to terms with the fact that a particular change is unavoidable is the beginning of the transition. Staying angry because you would rather not be reporting to the new boss in your company will not end well. Letting the sadness of a layoff, and the bitterness that you feel because of how you were treated consume you, will not help you find a new job.
Another important step is to try the change on for size. What can you bring to the change, to make it a transition? This requires confidence and believing in yourself. No change in life, personally or professionally, is more than you can handle. You have a new boss? You worked hard at your position and you built a great reputation before she got there. Continue to do that! Embrace the new beginning, the new relationship. You had to move because your company relocated? Try to focus on what could work in your new surroundings. Look for the exciting things the new city you will be living in offer, what you did not have where you are moving from.
If you’re going through a challenging transition now, I hope some of these concepts help. I would also like to share a practice that works well for me. Now and then I look back in my life and I think of all of the changes I have been through. There are some I have excitedly chosen, and there are some I did not. Each of those changes better prepared me for the next one to come. Each of those transitions better equipped me for life. This practice better prepares me for changes – transitions – to come. And here is my personal favorite, a reminder for myself I came up with a few years ago:
“When I was being born, I cried. And yet, what a wonderful experience this life has been. I try not to make the same mistakes twice.” – Joe Fox